Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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