I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
