I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
