do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
