Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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