why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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