my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
