Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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