just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
