I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
