I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
