Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
