I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
