I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
