You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
