Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
