If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize