a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize