so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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