Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
