You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
