their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize