He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize