the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
