she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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