I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She's the barista slut.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
