she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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