I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
