I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
