Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
