It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
