gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
