quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
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