Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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