I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
