You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
