Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
