I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize