It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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