I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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