The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
