I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
All I want is dick and wine.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
