my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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