Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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