So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think i have herpe
just one?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
