I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
