...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
