I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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