if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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