Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
