all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize