I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
