So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
