My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
