got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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