When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We need to get me chipped asap
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
