I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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