ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
