its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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