You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was born a porn star she said
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
