There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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