belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
