You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
